Britney Spears and I Have Something in Common—But I'm Not a Prisoner in My Own Life

Like Britney Spears, I live with mental illness every day of my life. Unlike the persecuted pop star, however, I always have access to my credit cards, phone and passport. One of my diagnoses is bipolar II, which means I have episodes of both hypomania and depression. The difference between me and Britney, though?

I’ve always had a door.

It has long been rumoured that Britney also lives with bipolar disorder, but she has never confirmed it. I think her camp would view revealing an actual diagnosis as a bad PR move, so they keep it hush-hush and get her to pretend she is fine, all the while watching her like a hawk and witnessing her entrapment.

After making an emotional plea to a Los Angeles judge to terminate her strict conservatorship, the whole world reacted with shock at the disturbing details of her legal arrangement, but it’s especially horrifying to people who live with mental Illness.

The patriarchy is alive and well in the world of women's health, unfortunately, and it often lazily labels us “crazy,” “mad” or “psychotic." I’m no iconic entertainer, but I’ve had my fair share of rough emotional times. The thing is, though, the whole world wasn’t watching me as I fell apart. I may not have shaved my head like Britney, or been caught on camera acting erratically, but I have spiralled to the point that I needed to reach out for professional help.

I am a real woman with mental health challenges, and so is Britney Spears, no matter her celebrity status. Whenever I’ve experienced a huge crisis in my life, like becoming separated from my husband during the middle of the pandemic, or suffering from postpartum depression after the birth of my daughter, I initially felt ashamed for not coping better. It was hard enough to face my friends and family and admit I was struggling to keep my head above water. I can't fathom what it must have been like for Britney in her worst moments, knowing people all over the world were laughing and gawking at the sideshow the media made of her life.

I also can’t imagine a world in which my father could prevent me from having another baby. And not being able to stop my birth control if I decided to? What century are we living in, anyway? It horrifies and enrages me that women still have so little control when it comes to their own bodies. Britney is a high-profile example, but she’s one of many women who experience gender-bias in the medical and legal systems.

One of the most terrifying things about this whole case is that what happened to her is probably not isolated to her. If this can happen to someone who is very much in the spotlight, with millions of fans following her on social media, imagine the unknown, non-famous disabled people out there who have no one looking out for them or advocating for them.

From what I've learned, conservatorships are used mainly for people suffering from dementia, or those living with severe physical or mental disabilities. People who are not able to take care of themselves. Not people who have a mental illness that’s being managed. Conservatorships are also mainly used as a last resort, not a starting point. And yet, for Britney, it has been 13 long years and counting.

Some might argue that if she’s psychologically “imbalanced," she needs to be protected from herself, but that doesn't cut it. I have never heard of any male performer or entertainer with a conservatorship—run by his mom, no less. Why? Because men aren’t routinely reduced to their mental illness diagnoses the way women are. If she was male, this wouldn’t be happening. If a man in the entertainment world went “off the rails,” no one would even think about controlling his reproductive health.

So how was this allowed to happen, and why has it gone on for so damn long?

Because Britney is worth a lot of money. She’s essentially a product to her father. A means to an end. Keeping his daughter under his control means constant money in the bank, and by supervising nearly every aspect of her life, he’s not protecting her—his child—but his investment.

But she’s a full-grown adult. A mother of two teenage sons. A professional entertainer who’s worked her butt off in a toxic environment while under this smothering conservatorship. How tragically ironic, to be known for your voice and songs all over the world, and not be able to speak up at all, off-stage and behind the scenes, in your own life.

If someone is disabled, either physically or mentally, it doesn’t automatically mean their rights should be stripped away. They still have a say. They should always have a say.

Disability advocates are right to be incensed at the way Britney is being treated. If Britney Spears can be forced to keep her IUD in, what does that mean for women’s current reproductive rights? Does it set a precedent that anyone with a mental illness should be sterilized? It’s a terrifying thought.

Just because you have a mental illness like bipolar II, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t have a kid. It’s not automatically out of the question. I did it, and it’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t trade my daughter for the world, and we find ways to get through tough emotional times. I’m also lucky to have an incredible support system I can rely on.

Britney is being stripped of her human rights under the cover of mental illness. I can’t imagine being judged for the hardest pain I've gone through—be it a week or a year—for the rest of my life. To have that one dark snapshot of my existence be the defining moment—for over a decade later.

This is why this conservatorship precedent is so scary to people like me.

I may have mental illness in common with Britney, but I am so lucky to have a loving and trustworthy family to surround me and step up when I need them. But she doesn’t seem to, and this is why this issue isn’t just about her—but all people who live with mental illness and struggle to be accepted and validated in a society that hastily throws labels on individuals and writes them off far too quickly.

I cannot imagine the enormous stress of stardom. Many people in the entertainment business speak of losing some of their freedom and privacy when they make it big. But this is different. Britney’s fame and fortune have not created her present predicament. The people around her have.

This issue is about disability rights. It’s past time she regains control of not just her finances—but her life.

I hope she will feel the world’s love for her and become a beautiful phoenix who will soon rise from the ashes of all this horror, but she never should have been put through this ordeal in the first place.

Tara Mandarano is a writer, editor, and poet. Her writing ​has been nominated for the Best-of-the Net award, and has appeared in The Washington Post, HuffPo, Today's Parent, Motherwell, Mothers Always Write, and Literary Mama, among numerous other publications. She is also a patient advocate in the chronic pain and mental health communities. 

Follow on Twitter @taramandarano and on Instagram @taramandarano